Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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