Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
organizing the empties. That sober.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
