my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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