Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
