plz talk dirty to me
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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