Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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