They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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