glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
