Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
