3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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