If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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