community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
