He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
