Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
