I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
