he told me I talked like a deaf person
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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