Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
