McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
