I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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