New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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