i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
