its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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