I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
