If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
