I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
