u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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