My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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