i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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