There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
