Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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