i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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