I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
