He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Never joke about your clitoris.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
