Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
