i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
