Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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