sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
