It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
