she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think people are normalizing furries
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
