A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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