i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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