Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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