eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
the raccoons are back...
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