What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
