Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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