can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
