Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
