I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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