ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i now understand why vodka
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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