His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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