I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its not stalking. its research.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
