This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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