All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
