i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
