It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
