Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
