Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
