they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize