We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
